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yet, for a while, it seemed that no one was listening. the sex wars which raged in the 1970s and 1980s between hite and the misogynists had convinced most people that the role of sex was to help men dominate and control women. even betty friedan didnt believe that women had to do it through intercourse, she thought they should wait until they were married.
a new generation of sex books for women are already emerging. but they are still with the humanistic psychology approach. and the first one to bring the two together for women has to be the remarkable shere hite. shere hite is an independent researcher as well as a sex educator. she was a sex researcher in the field of human sexuality, and also she became a sex educator. shere hite is a writer, therapist, educator, and researcher. she has a phd in theology and religious studies and a masters in social work. she has written over 50 books on women’s sexuality, including the hite report and the hite encyclopedia, and the bestselling sex and the single girl. she has a new book out this month called it just is: learning to like your body. and she is currently finishing a book on the future of love.
shes been working on this book for almost ten years. and i think it will be a landmark work in a field that is very important to women. its also just plain fun to read! i cant wait to start reading it. i hope you will too.
theres a chapter in the book called the dilemma of desire, which is basically about how a partner is supposed to be so vulnerable that youre open to them, and theyre supposed to feel so vulnerable that they are open to you. theres not enough time to go into all of that, and it would take another book, but its about how a woman feels vulnerable when shes giving sex, and how a man feels vulnerable when she wants to give sex. in the book im saying, well, in fact, you dont have to feel vulnerable, you just have to be an open channel, but you can do it with someone else. its a bit like cross-training, but its about confidence rather than fitness.
having said that, its one of the biggest sources of pleasure, and also of orgasm. so theres no point in haventing sex unless youre into it. its a really good part of any marriage, as a good couple will try to take each other from time to time. the trouble is some women never get to enjoy the full pleasures of intercourse. and some men never get to enjoy the full pleasures of oral sex.
i think thats one of the reasons why it is such a shame that we have a situation where the uk is the only western country not to have any consensual sex education in schools. its shocking that the country that invented the clitoris doesnt recognize that it exists. i totally believe that it is a fundamental part of womens sexuality, and that we need a lot more education, and a lot more curiosity about what it is. and i hope that this book can help with that.
i think its fair to say that this book will be a big part of the revolution. shes written a highly original book, and one that ive never heard of. its a book that takes on taboo issues and tackles them openly. it makes women feel good. it makes men want to be better. theres a very healthy what about me mindset going on which can allow you to enjoy sex more. youre more in touch with your own body, and crucially, you can be more convinced that what youre feeling is important. that leads back to emilys book, although she doesnt focus on the menopause. but there is just as much capacity post-menopause, should you choose sexuality. one caveat: many women dont. many women say, no, thats over for me. good on them, theyve made a choice. but for those who do want sexuality, there can be a different picture.
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